Blog went a little nuts.

We all know that I am serious all the time and thus I surround myself by a group of highly trained individuals that reflect that dedication to seriousness.

*Opinions expressed on this blog are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect actual reality.*

Here is another well thought poem from Mr. Mac Black.  Watch the blog this weekend for my reviews of his first two books, “Please call me Derek” and Derek’s in Trouble.


by A Squirrel

(with a little help from Mac Black)

Why can’t I be like other squirrels? I am different…
It’s not my fur, it’s not my tail, and it’s not my paws.
I have a lovely little home, and through the trees I happily roam
Spreading happiness, and wonderment, and there’s sometimes a little applause

It is convenient that my trees are in the city
Because it gives me access to my favourite food
I wouldn’t go to NUTS-4-US on a municipal bus
I’m aware it raises eyebrows and I do dislike a fuss
I don’t fancy Nuts4U – there is always a ruddy queue
I’m a squirrel who is different and it’s not good.

Why can’t I be like other squirrels? I am different
I’m not gay but I am happy, fancy free
When my energy is low there is only one place I can go
To the shop that has the stuff to make one scamper up a tree

Because I’m a squirrel who’s addicted to eating Pizza
Mushroom, peppers, green or red, with lots of cheese
At the window I stand gawping when I do my tea-time shopping
Then I give my special order and ask for extra topping
As for nuts and those that suit them, I can tell you where to put them
I’m a squirrel who is different and it’s not good.

*Mac–you never stop thinking, do you? I envy that.


May I also include a brief haiku that the very talented and also modest John Howell sent to me in regards to a squirrel related death. Love you John. You are the best of the best and I couldn’t ask for a better friend. Good that you are taking this dedication to serious so…seriously. 🙂

Ionia Goes

She rode the wild beast,

Till Carmine the squirrel took aim…

Taken out for money.

Published by: Ionia Froment

Blogger, reviewer, theology/philosophy major. I'm a mother and a writer and a supporter of free speech and freedom in general. My favourite author is Albert Camus, and I listen to a bit of everything. I've been too busy (LAZY) to blog in the last few years, but I'm giving it another shot.

Categories PoetryTags, , , , 57 Comments

57 thoughts on “Blog went a little nuts.”

  1. Squirrels love hot dogs and chips. There are a couple of golf courses in Los Angeles famous for this. Everyone knows not to set your hot dog down for three seconds to hit a golf ball. Squirrels will tear into the pockets of golf bags to get chips, cookies, sandwiches. I never had a pizza there, but I’m sure they would have loved that, too. 🙂 (Why did Caddy Shack have a gopher? It’s the squirrels!)


    1. I completely agree with you. Squirrels are responsible for much more terror than their cute little puffy cheeks make the seem capable of. This is a statistic you do not often see–how many vicious squirrel attacks there are every year. I have one who likes to sit outside my window and stare at me while I am working and doing my homework.

      There has to be a joke in there somewhere but I am tired. 🙂

      Pizza eating squirrels…hmmm.


  2. I’m trying to imagine a squirrel pizza, delivered by a squirrel, while said squirrel elbows way through protesting squirrels. Squirrel eating Pizzas? Squirrel eats pizza…Pizza eats squirrel…reminds me of the Man Eating Shark or Dog Biting Man headlines I see all the time in my half-dream states.
    Having fun with all the possibilities now. Thanks !


  3. Just what we need, another Frat House squirrel to take care of us. Out at Cypress Cove they mug people for the peppermint candy that they come out of the restaurant with in hand. Cute little squirrels run around everywhere with their little cheeks pooched out by peppermints.


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