We all know that I am serious all the time and thus I surround myself by a group of highly trained individuals that reflect that dedication to seriousness.
*Opinions expressed on this blog are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect actual reality.*
Here is another well thought poem from Mr. Mac Black. Watch the blog this weekend for my reviews of his first two books, “Please call me Derek” and Derek’s in Trouble.
DIFFERENT
by A Squirrel
(with a little help from Mac Black)
Why can’t I be like other squirrels? I am different…
It’s not my fur, it’s not my tail, and it’s not my paws.
I have a lovely little home, and through the trees I happily roam
Spreading happiness, and wonderment, and there’s sometimes a little applause
It is convenient that my trees are in the city
Because it gives me access to my favourite food
I wouldn’t go to NUTS-4-US on a municipal bus
I’m aware it raises eyebrows and I do dislike a fuss
I don’t fancy Nuts4U – there is always a ruddy queue
I’m a squirrel who is different and it’s not good.
Why can’t I be like other squirrels? I am different
I’m not gay but I am happy, fancy free
When my energy is low there is only one place I can go
To the shop that has the stuff to make one scamper up a tree
Because I’m a squirrel who’s addicted to eating Pizza
Mushroom, peppers, green or red, with lots of cheese
At the window I stand gawping when I do my tea-time shopping
Then I give my special order and ask for extra topping
As for nuts and those that suit them, I can tell you where to put them
I’m a squirrel who is different and it’s not good.
*Mac–you never stop thinking, do you? I envy that.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
May I also include a brief haiku that the very talented and also modest John Howell sent to me in regards to a squirrel related death. Love you John. You are the best of the best and I couldn’t ask for a better friend. Good that you are taking this dedication to serious so…seriously. 🙂
Ionia Goes
She rode the wild beast,
Till Carmine the squirrel took aim…
Taken out for money.
readful things blog 
57 responses to “Blog went a little nuts.”
A pizza-eating squirrel? I’d love one of those.
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Mac could join our fraternity, no?
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If he’s bringing the pizza, he’s in. That’s my true weakness.
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He’s got beer too
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I think I might have to marry that man.
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It’s legal now
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Perfect. Easiest way to get free pizza and beer.
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I will be your maid of honour
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I was thinking best man and we’d put you in charge of the bachelor party. I prefer my parties to have squirrels and high arrest counts.
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Wizzards honestly
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Gandalf had to make money somehow. Always knew deep down he was a pimp.
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Run you fools
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He looked he was going to pimp smack every dwarf in The Hobbit. One of those ‘bitches be crazy’ looks.
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Beyotches, no?
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Those too. They’re the worst.
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What does a wizard beyotch look like?
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Saruman
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HA! I thought it was Grima
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I forgot about that beyotch. Made he’s a bitch’s bitch.
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Maybe he is just a yank that can’t spell?
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Nah. He’s definitely an Englishman that is obsessed with ‘U’s.
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That was low.
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What? I must have missed that one.
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Englishman, eh? I can high-kick you know. Tell me, were your family jewels priceless or just expensive?
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Second hand.
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You have used ..?
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We’re talking about my grandmother’s heirloom jewelry right?
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Yes of course. What else would we be talking about–specifically?
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Turning men into beautiful sopranos?
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Raul la la la la la la la
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I cannot see that name and not think of the Addams Family movie.
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Girlscout cookies
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Are they made from real girl scouts?
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Although the post title is appropriate
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Definitely.
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Lol. Smile
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Will a deranged smile work?
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The only kind I expect
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Woo-hoo!
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What a great poem! Well done Mac and Ionia! Love the pizza eating squirrel too! Now I want pizza! lol. Also a great haiku there John! 🙂
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Squirrels love hot dogs and chips. There are a couple of golf courses in Los Angeles famous for this. Everyone knows not to set your hot dog down for three seconds to hit a golf ball. Squirrels will tear into the pockets of golf bags to get chips, cookies, sandwiches. I never had a pizza there, but I’m sure they would have loved that, too. 🙂 (Why did Caddy Shack have a gopher? It’s the squirrels!)
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I completely agree with you. Squirrels are responsible for much more terror than their cute little puffy cheeks make the seem capable of. This is a statistic you do not often see–how many vicious squirrel attacks there are every year. I have one who likes to sit outside my window and stare at me while I am working and doing my homework.
There has to be a joke in there somewhere but I am tired. 🙂
Pizza eating squirrels…hmmm.
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I was thinking pizza later for dinner. Now I am certain pizza later for dinner!!
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Absolutely! LOL
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I’m trying to imagine a squirrel pizza, delivered by a squirrel, while said squirrel elbows way through protesting squirrels. Squirrel eating Pizzas? Squirrel eats pizza…Pizza eats squirrel…reminds me of the Man Eating Shark or Dog Biting Man headlines I see all the time in my half-dream states.
Having fun with all the possibilities now. Thanks !
Later…
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Lol I can’t wait to see the post
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Seriously we need to get seriously serious. Wait…serious about what? Naw too serious to think about. Nice post!!
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LOL. Seriously?
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Seriously serious seriously.
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I challenge you to write a haiku where the various forms of serious are all you can use.
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ugh spit here it is
Seriouslyness,
Seriously serious…
Serriousnessly
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You did it. That was impressive actually.
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This is so cute!
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Just what we need, another Frat House squirrel to take care of us. Out at Cypress Cove they mug people for the peppermint candy that they come out of the restaurant with in hand. Cute little squirrels run around everywhere with their little cheeks pooched out by peppermints.
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Peppermint squirrels. At least they have nice breath
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Lucky the squirrel doesn’t like pizza. It’d have a field day in the comment section. Seriously!
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