Happily never after

                                      Unmarried Announcement


Due to some confusion, we (Ionia & Charles) feel that something should be made clear.

We aren’t married.

  We are very close friends that care a lot about each other and are comfortable enough to tease and banter without holding back. To that end we are announcing our ‘Nonmarriage’ with this announcement:

  You are all cordiallyNOT invited to the non-existent wedding of Ionia Martin & Charles Yallowitz.
Earl the invisible hillbilly will be the best man and Becky Sue the always pregnant redneck will be the maid of honor. All bridesmaids and flower girls

have been graciously provided by Becky Sue.

These two shall NOT be exchanging vows beyond threatening each other with squirrels and short jokes.
Join neither of them for a non-existent banquet where you have to bring your own beer, the cupcakes are catalogue pictures, and the DJ is nothing

more than Pandora.

Hope everyone enjoys the party that isn’t happening and remember:

We are Not married.

*Do you guys honestly think I could put up with his non stop talking for the rest of my life?


*Who brought beer?


122 thoughts on “Happily never after

  1. What up with the non-honeymoon?? Congrats! Non-weddings are the best!! May you both live non-happily ever after as a non couple but live happily ever after as great friends!! xx


  2. OMG. I told Charles how wonderful the two of you are…Don’t make us choose. Don’t let this get nasty by talking about a non-divorce already. We can stay friends with you both can’t we?


  3. My non-gift will not be arriving as soon as the Post Office doesn’t deliver your mail. Happy Non-Marriage, this is the best decision anyone never made (and why didn’t you tell me this was possible years ago? i wanna be non-married too!!!! 😉 ) xo


  4. I may have contributed a tiny bit to this perception by doing a post about the two of you together but I referred to you as siblings not husband and wife. But seriously, you can hardly visit a blog without seeing the two of you bantering back and forth in the comments like a…MARRIED COUPLE. Anyway, it now seems the names Charles & Ionia are becoming just as famous as Sonny and Cher, Scarlett & Rhett, Antony & Cleopatra, Romeo & Juliet… Oh, you two could have fun with this…


  5. Oh thank you for inviting me. I definitely will not bring an enormous Australian Pavlova decorated with kiwi fruit, bananas and lashings of home whipped cream. My only concern is what on earth will I wear.? Congratulations, both or rather all of you!


  6. That’s hilarious. I can’t believe people thought you were married. Don’t they read your blogs? Even for the fact that you have more than one child, he mentions only one toddler.


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