Unmarried Announcement
Due to some confusion, we (Ionia & Charles) feel that something should be made clear.
We aren’t married.
We are very close friends that care a lot about each other and are comfortable enough to tease and banter without holding back. To that end we are announcing our ‘Nonmarriage’ with this announcement:
You are all cordiallyNOT invited to the non-existent wedding of Ionia Martin & Charles Yallowitz.
Earl the invisible hillbilly will be the best man and Becky Sue the always pregnant redneck will be the maid of honor. All bridesmaids and flower girls
have been graciously provided by Becky Sue.
These two shall NOT be exchanging vows beyond threatening each other with squirrels and short jokes.
Join neither of them for a non-existent banquet where you have to bring your own beer, the cupcakes are catalogue pictures, and the DJ is nothing
more than Pandora.
Hope everyone enjoys the party that isn’t happening and remember:
We are Not married.
*Do you guys honestly think I could put up with his non stop talking for the rest of my life?
Squirrels
*Who brought beer?
readful things blog 
122 responses to “Happily never after”
Plus I doubt Tracy would approve. Although, she might want to give him away from time to time. Lol.
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I could take him to the zoo
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They might keep him 😉
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Hmmmmm….brilliant
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Congratulations on the unwedding that has finally taken place.
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We’ve been waiting for so long
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You and him, or you and I?
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Isn’t he marrying Mac?
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That was what I though. I think it was the pizza and beer that did it
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Always blame the drink never the pizza
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Wise words
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Hey there Englishman. I’m not getting married today…
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Aren’t you? But you said…
You better not be toying with my affections, woman!
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Lol say it in Romanian
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nu te juca mine femeie
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I like
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You were meant to. Grab me a Perrier from the fridge would you?
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We are out:( wine?
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Okay wine is fine, I forget I drank the last of the Perrier. I was hot after my workout!
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Me too
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It was a very long session
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QFT!
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Not so much of the Q really.
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I noticed
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I saw you noticing, it was the glazed look in your eyes
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Deer in headlights
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Absolutely, or a mewling kitten
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Sigh
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Mmmmmmm
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Oh, how lovely! Are you not registered anywhere? Because I would love to not get you a gift, like maybe a porcelain squirrel-feeder. Or not.
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We are not registered everywhere
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We still have to discuss dividing all the stuff that we don’t own together. I’m thinking a 50/50 split of the nothing. 😛
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70/30
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Fine, but only because I don’t want this to get messy.
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You get 70
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Makes me wonder what’s in the 30.
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Nothing you need worry about lol
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That’s what you said about the non-prenup.
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I didn’t want you to take fizzle
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Ah, a non-bargaining chip. Mwahaha!
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I have apples
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I have Fritz.
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Oh you little….
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Decisions, decisions. Poor Luke gets no love.
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When is the non-divorce? I don’t want to buy a non-gift only to have 30% of it wasted
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Congratulations!!! (I think, lol). I dunno why but this reminds of Alice in Wonderland, a very merry unbirthday to you! er Unwedding!
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What up with the non-honeymoon?? Congrats! Non-weddings are the best!! May you both live non-happily ever after as a non couple but live happily ever after as great friends!! xx
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Lol thanks! Twisted aren’t we?
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twisted = good
– straight = boring:)
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OMG. I told Charles how wonderful the two of you are…Don’t make us choose. Don’t let this get nasty by talking about a non-divorce already. We can stay friends with you both can’t we?
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You can keep him and I will take him for walks
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on a short leash, we don’t want the squirrels having at him
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So true…..thanks for being in my unwedding party
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I know those walks. You run and drag me behind you. I’m not falling for it this time.
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stop trying to piddle on other charles’ and I wont use the choke leash
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Someone is going to have to fetch her own slippers in the morning. 😛
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I told you to leave my shoes alone you furry little….
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Not my fault. You dropped BBQ sauce on them and I was hungry.
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What a BBQ carrot? Hun I’m a vegan
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You can put BBQ sauce on veggies.
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Eew
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I got nothing. Can’t turn anyone to BBQ sauce if they don’t want it.
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Sweet baby rays?
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Sure. I’m not really a connoisseur. More of a hot sauce fan.
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Oh gosh me too tobasco
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I always had a few hot sauces on hand when I was a kid.
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I have one called lava ass
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My friend did a hot sauce party 2 years ago. We had to test and rate 34 hot sauces. The first one was called Liquid Lava and it won. Me and two other guys were the ones that started with it and we barely survived.
That party also introduced me to Ghost Pepper Wings.
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I tried the ghost pepper ice cream in Galveston ugh
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That doesn’t sound that appealing. I had a ghost pepper infused wine once. Drank a full glass and lost all feeling in my lips and tongue.
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The ice cream made me sick
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I can imagine. Sounds gross and sickening.
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It was even with only two bites!
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I’m really going to be staying away from that stuff. Some stuff should not come in ice cream flavors.
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I agree. Like booger flavoured jelly beans.
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Blech. Why would anyone risk one of those jelly beans?
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If you are already a weird wizard child…
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So, a person can eat one of those, find the greatest flavor in the world, and never find it again. Wizard candy makers are jerks.
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I agree. Oh no what if there are booger skittles?
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Then I’ll never eat another Skittle again. Crazy wizards.
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As long as they keep twizzlers out of this.
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They would make those deadly.
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We should have a twizz fight.
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The most delicious fight ever.
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Yum
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You seem very hungry in the last few comments.
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I am someone was talking about food a little while ago
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It’s rude to talk about food to hungry people without offering some.
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here kitty kitty
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You’re having Chinese food?
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Indeed
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Tobasco
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Hun? I meant ugh
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Attila?
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Lol I could rock that shite
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The role comes with a horse.
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I hate horses 😦 pout
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Same here. They don’t like me either.
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I know right? Have a carrot
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Yummy. Any celery?
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Of course
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My non-gift will not be arriving as soon as the Post Office doesn’t deliver your mail. Happy Non-Marriage, this is the best decision anyone never made (and why didn’t you tell me this was possible years ago? i wanna be non-married too!!!! 😉 ) xo
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Lol amen
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Loved this. Made me laugh so hard. Thank you for not inviting me. I am so very very not happy lol
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Lol thanks for not attending!
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Reblogged this on M. L. Sexton and commented:
Love this not invitation
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Haha. Love your new picture, BTW.
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Thank you. I’m till debating on whether or not to change it back. I like pissing off certain people lol
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Hahaha! This is too cute! Happy unwedding day! 😉
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Where aren’t you registered?
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Everywhere!!!
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Oh. I I don’t usually shop there.
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Me either. Hey i just emailed you.
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People are so unassuming.
I assume my uninvitation was lost in the mail.
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We unsent it late:(
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I may have contributed a tiny bit to this perception by doing a post about the two of you together but I referred to you as siblings not husband and wife. But seriously, you can hardly visit a blog without seeing the two of you bantering back and forth in the comments like a…MARRIED COUPLE. Anyway, it now seems the names Charles & Ionia are becoming just as famous as Sonny and Cher, Scarlett & Rhett, Antony & Cleopatra, Romeo & Juliet… Oh, you two could have fun with this…
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We do lol
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Oh thank you for inviting me. I definitely will not bring an enormous Australian Pavlova decorated with kiwi fruit, bananas and lashings of home whipped cream. My only concern is what on earth will I wear.? Congratulations, both or rather all of you!
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Lol thank you! So glad to have you attend!
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Too funny! Just want you to know I’ll be there with bells on–not! 🙂
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Lol we sent your uninvite late too:(
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That’s hilarious. I can’t believe people thought you were married. Don’t they read your blogs? Even for the fact that you have more than one child, he mentions only one toddler.
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