It has come to my attention
that I really know not much
about this culture I live in
the way you speak and such
I get that I am different
I will now show you why
so go ahead make fun of me
laugh until you cry
I’m not an American
although try to blend
and in my proper English speak
I really must defend
That when you say:
an ax to grind or a chip upon his shoulder
I think you’re slicing potatoes
to be worn in some sort of holster
and when I hear:
bend over backwards
or barking up the wrong tree
I think you and your dog
are doing gymnastics just for me
So go ahead and tell me:
Elvis has left the building
and I drove someone up the wall
I will wait for his return
and try to catch them in case they fall
Please explain:
how to keep your head up
and a knee jerk reaction
all these body parts flying
really sounds kind of fun
So go ahead and use them
use them all you see fit
but understand we have our own
repertoire of shit
So let us say to you:
the actress said to the bishop
or all talk and no trousers
just lie back and think of England
there’s a couple of arouser’s
or perhaps we might slip in:
before you can say knife
bent as a nine bob note
or black as a Newgate’s knocker
did that one get stuck in your throat?
it’s all cat’s arse and cabbage
some might be inclined to say
trying to explain it is damp squib
you might have to fill in a blank
or even need ad-lib
so let’s pull a Dunkirk spirit
and just agree to disagree
not everyone can be so lucky
to talk as well as we
like giving a donkey strawberries
like a bear with a sore head
laugh to see the pudding crawl
some things are better left unsaid
77 responses to “Idioms and idiots and Americanisms: A poem”
Reblogged this on createthinklive and commented:
Hey cool word play and idiom-speak
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Haha. I stumbled over some words. But it made me giggle.
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Lol thank you:) I owed Dean one.
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As funny as F**k ๐
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Lol! Thank you, it was so fun!
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I think various sayings and slang from around the world are fun. It increases the repertoire and they make me laugh because most of them make no sense. I need to find a George Carlin skit about it.
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Lol it is fun
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Found the Carlin skit and having trouble typing. Laughing so hard I feel off the bed. I gotta share this one in a post.
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I love it! Thanks:)
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You’re welcome. Glad to introduce you to his comedy and genius.
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Posted the George Carlin videos and remembered that I suggested him to Julian. ๐
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Lol oh no..
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What could possibly go wrong?
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Okay, I have one here that has lived in England twice and he can’t get all of these….hahaha well done ๐
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Lol:) Scottish border
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greg only got the damp squib
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He’s a rocket scientist, that would be the only one he knows. But he does know now that a coon’s age, a month of Sundays, and once in a blue moon are all about the same time frame. He will also accept that six of one and a half dozen of the other makes sense.
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Lol! This is a genius comment!
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and everything is better with butter…
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And more than a carter has pills
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I heard about this on Charles’ blog. This is genius, Ionia!
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Thanks, Sahm. It was a lot of fun on a day when I just felt…blah.
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Looks like you got past it pretty well, to come up with this piece. ๐ Stay up, Ionia! ๐
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Reblogged this on The Arkside of Thought by Sahm King and commented:
I barked up the wrong tree once… And then, The Happening…
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[…] of Readfulthings posted a great poem about sayings from America and the UK.ย It got me thinking of the sayings we […]
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This was priceless. I have been following Nobodyreadsme.com on WordPress and he is English and have to decipher his idoms. You presented ‘Us’, Americans in the same light. Idioms are so wonderful, mini-metaphors I call them with strained analogical pretexts that can stand in for almost anything you want. Great Job.>KB
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Mini-metaphors is a great way to describe them. Thank you for reading!
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Mooble!
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Mooooooble!
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Moooooo!
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Shut my mouth. Real clever
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Lol I love you, John.
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This was great! Often when I use a saying I wonder how those that aren’t American might interpret them, if they can interpret them at all since they really only make sense in one particular culture. Although I don’t understand all English phrases, I will say that they, many times come across far classier than ours. Well done Ionia. ๐
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Well…some of them. My three year old exclaims bloody hell every now and again lol
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Reblogged this on Traces of the Soul and commented:
This is very good! I struggle with most idioms as well and have a dictionary translating them in French since I tend to translate word for word and wonder why my friends and colleagues don’t get it.
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I didn’t know that the English speak English too. Strawberries for donkeys! You’re gonna drive me up a wall, or bananas, or plain meshugah!
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lol! That was a wonderful comment:) Thank you for the laugh!
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All things better off unsaid will surely be the topics of lengthy dissertations. ๐
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This is so very true. My students put you up to that, no?
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This is brilliant, Ionia! I was laughing so hard, I almost fell out of my chair. ๐
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lol! Thank you, Briana!
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You’re welcome! ๐ And thank you for the evening entertainment!
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Hilarious ๐
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Thank you:)
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Funny enough to make me need to spend a penny.
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I missed you!
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Oi! Don’t get your knickers in an uproar!
Seriously, though, there were a few tasty lines new to me. Then again, I am from neither country…
We learn something new everyday, so long as we let us.
ps: ta, I enjoyed it
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This was a fun comment! Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment. Much appreciated.
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Just hope I got the saying right….it was one not on your list so I thought it apt. Glad you enjoyed it, thanks ๐
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Love it! I have a friend in South Africa and we’re always amused by respective sayings! And when I add the Spanish and Catalan ones is never ending!
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Brilliant!!! ๐ ๐
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Loved it…and it’s even funnier when you try to teach that rot to them poor foreign blighters! ๐
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Lol!! You are so right!
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๐
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You had me smiling all the way through. As a fellow brit who has come across the ‘language’ barrier this gave me a good old English chuckle! Tally ho!
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It really is amazing how many words mean something so very much different, as well. I’m always afraid I’m going to say something unintentionally lewd in polite conversation!
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Ha ha, I can imagine!
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Hi Ionia. I read this hilarious poem last night on my kindle fire after a long, hard, shitty day. You made me laugh and forget, for the rest of the day, my predicament. Well done! I’m going to send it to another British friend if that is ok with you.
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Absolutely! I would be honoured:)
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A brilliant poem, Ionia. I love it. I guess there are a few differences that I will need to get to grips with, or maybe I just shouldn’t give a rat’s arse. What do you think?
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Aye. Meet me inna gairden an weah take summ dinna.
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Aye, my love. Some scran down the rec and maybe a bit of how’s your father
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I do not just lie back and think of England, sir.
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Oh, I know that. it is a lot more fun than that
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Defrocked, you’ve been
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I have, and I thoroughly enjoy the experience.
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No one believed you were such a good boy anyway.
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You certainly don’t, not now at least
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Quite the contrary, I think you’re the best man ever
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Then it is fortunate that I have found the most perfect woman in the world.
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Reblogged this on Julian Froment's Blog and commented:
Excellent, fun poem.
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You’ve got your revenge on me in the second half Ionia ๐
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Lol! My evil plan worked…..
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That’s some funny ass shit, darling. I was trying to think of something that is uniquely Canuckistanian, but I am at a loss. Do they use the charming phrase “useless as tits on a bull” in fair Albion?
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I read this via Twitter and loved it so much I had to read it to my husband yesterday (as we were having a very relevant conversation). We were both rolling. Thanks for it. ๐
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Hilarious! “I think youโre slicing potatoes
to be worn in some sort of holster”.
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Hilarious! I think youโre slicing potatoes
to be worn in some sort of holster
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