An Interview with The Lich

Ionia-

So, today, I am very honoured to have…uhm…pssst…how should I announce you…do you want to go by Lich or by the Lich or by…

The Lich-
The Lich is what I am known as. All other names have been cast aside.

Ionia-
Very good then. Today I am very honoured to have The Lich on Readful Things Blog for an interview. Can you tell us a little about yourself Mr. Lich?

The Lich-
Most of my history is cloaked in shadows, so it will be very little. I am the ruler of the Caster Swamp and the favorite of my dark master. It is my job to create armies in his name and remove all obstacles to his return.

Ionia-
Evasive. I like that. You know, you should eat you look a bit…er…boney

The Lich-
I’m on a strict soul of the innocent diet with the occasional drink for entertainment.

Ionia-
Would you like a cupcake? They are innocent cupcakes.

The Lich-
I lack the innards and tongue to fully enjoy such things. At least now. There are certain spells and rituals that allow me to take a more . . . fleshed out form.

Ionia-
The reason I wanted to interview you today is partially because I find you rather sexy and also because I was hoping you could explain what a Lich is. Many do not know….

The Lich-
Interesting. I would think Liches are common knowledge within your world as they are here.
The sexy part sounds like Queen Trinity put you up to mocking me.

Ionia-
Not so much…There are many who only know vampires (shparkly)and werewolves.

The Lich-
I’ve heard of those vampires. My old teacher is not amused by them. So, what do you wish to know of my kind?

Ionia-
Trinity and I were girl talking a bit ago, but no… I really do think you are super hot. I love the attitude.

The Lich-
Then I accept your compliment.

Ionia-
How do you become a Lich?

The Lich-
Traditionally, a Lich is born from a powerful and evil caster. There are rituals that can transform such people into Liches and there have been times that a truly evil caster becomes a Lich upon death. The main ingredient is to be evil to your core. So evil that it does not fade after death.

There are spells that can force a Lich transformation on an enemy or create one from the corpse of a pure caster, but those are weaker servant Liches.

A final note on Liches is that they keep their souls in another item. This is to allow them to return from destruction, which makes them one of the more complicated undead to destroy. The item is usually hidden far away from the Lich.

Ionia-
I could be a Lich!

The Lich-
If you feel you’re evil enough and have enough magic that it will carry over into death then you can be.

Ionia-
I figure a certain author may kill me eventually for suggesting edits anyway.

I will work on the magic

The Lich-
I’m sure he will behave. He’s still wallowing in guilt for creating something truly horrible. It’s fun to watch him squirm.

Ionia-
If you could choose someone to play you in a movie, who would you choose?

The Lich-
I’m not very familiar with a lot of your actors, so I will pick one of the few I know. Tim Curry.

Ionia-
Oh…I was thinking Skeletor You know…that chick from Twilight is really boney

The Lich-
I have not been subjected to those movies yet. I find the look of those vampires rather distasteful. No rotting or smears of blood or anything truly monstrous about them.

Ionia-
Oh trust me….They are monstrous. They have the power to make me gag. They don’t even require gesticulating.

Do you celebrate Halloween in Windemere?

The Lich-
We are unfamiliar with the tradition since actual monsters prowl the night. The closest we have is the Day of Darkness. It is a twenty-four hour period of pure darkness where the undead rule and mortals hide in their homes.

I have heard of one person talking about inventing a holiday like your Halloween, but she’s rather odd . . . even for a gypsy.

Ionia-
Maybe you could dress up as Luke? Free candy…
You could go out with me…

The Lich-
Transform into one of my most hated enemies? You might be onto something. I still taste his aura, so it is entirely possible to steal his form.

Ionia-
See..I told you I could do evil. Teach me….my number is 867-5309

The Lich-
I lack a cellphone, but I’m sure I can send a message through more amusing means. Is there a pig farm around here?

Ionia-
Just wait…I will get the # for zombie wireless. Okay…that’s 666-6660. 😉

The Lich-
I notice an obsession with 6’s in your world. Why is that?

Ionia-
We have an obsession with 6 because 5 and 7 are boring and not curvy enough. We like fat bottoms.

The Lich-
Such a sexual world. Are all of you gypsies, succubi, or from Bor’daruk?

Ionia-
I may be a gypsie. Or a vampire princess. Either way I have a big 6.

The Lich-
Then you need not bother becoming a Lich. Vampires are another creature entirely and are unable to become Liches.

Ionia-
I will have to go to ancestry.com and get back to you. Do you hear something?

The Lich-
Many things. Zombies shuffling, the creatures of the Caster Swamp, my allies talking behind my back. It is rather noisy here.

Ionia-
This sounded like laughter… Uhm…you just grew boobs….

The Lich-
I have a distinct sense that I should be worried. After all, you were the one who insinuated that I had a thing for that harsh mercenary woman in my earlier interview this year.

Ionia-
I think I should go…and let you deal with…her

The Lich-
Oh . . . her . . . I should send her after someone else. Someone worthy of being annoyed to the point of insanity.

Ionia-
Uhm….I stand by that Selenia statement.

The Lich-
You are still wrong. The only thing I want from that woman is her beating heart on a pike.

Ionia-
With that small waist…that doesn’t look too bad on you…he he

The Lich-
*waves hand to undo transformation spell* She should have been locked up in a cage.

Ionia-
Thank you, Lich, for the interview. I hope we have cleared up some misconceptions about what you are and what you do. I’m going to go work on a summoning spell. I want cupcakes.
The Lich-
I believe your people call it baking or ordering out.

Ionia-
We really are boring…

The Lich-
You merely live in a world with magic and monster. In my world, you’ll never be bored . . . if you survived.

Ionia-

*POOF!!!!* 🍄

Uh…A little help here…

Succubus by Manidiforbice (Found in Yahoo Image Search)

Succubus by Manidiforbice (Found in Yahoo Image Search)

The Lich-

Much better.

Ionia-
I can’t rock this shite. It’s the wings. They itch.

The Lich-
I prefer traveling as mist, but I assume wings feel better if you stretch them and give them air.

Ionia-
Will you catch me if I fall?

The Lich-
I have minions for that.

Ionia-
Right…never trust a Lich

The Lich-
Of course not. We are evil creatures who work from the shadows. We do not get physically involved.

Ionia-
Wait…that’s what I do…. Ask the csb editors….

The Lich-
I see. Are those demons or zombies?

Ionia-
They are water ghasts. Seems we got off track…have you been taking lessons from the author?

The Lich-
Interesting choice of minions. I’m merely stalling for time while I learn more about your world and leave a delicious spell for future use.

Ionia-
They ride the wave. If you keep stalling I’m going to go interview Trinity

The Lich-
Very well. What else do you wish to know?

Ionia-
Do you want us talking about you in public?

The Lich-
There is no harm in it. The word of my existence brings people to investigate, which gives me more zombies and other experiments.

Ionia-
I want to know…boxers or briefs?

The Lich-
I lack those parts to bother with such items.

Ionia-
Your sexy just went down

The Lich-
My kind are not know for being sexy. You are thinking of vampires in terms of attractive undead.

Ionia-
No. I really dig your kill them all let Gabriel sort them out attitude.

The Lich-
Amusing phrase. It is entertaining to make trouble for my master’s greatest enemy.

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Silencing Sapphire

Silencing SapphireSilencing Sapphire by Mia Thompson

 

While setting her sights on a new serial killer, Beverly Hills heiress and vigilante, Sapphire Dubois, fights to cancel the wedding of the season in the sequel to the bestselling New Adult Thriller STALKING SAPPHIRE.

As a new serial killer dubbed the “Stripper Slayer” plagues Los Angeles, Sapphire once again sheds her socialite persona, this time to go undercover as a penniless stripper. Struggling to find the brutal man before he slays again, Sapphire finds that the thin wall separating her double life is cracking. Her family and friends expect her to walk down the aisle with the most eligible bachelor among the Beverly Hills elite; a man she doesn’t want. Meanwhile, the man she does want, handsome Detective Aston Ridder, is making her life hell as he closes in on the Serial Catcher’s trail.

Sapphire scrambles to keep the chaos at bay, unaware that someone else is tracking her as well. A serial killer from her past is back and will stop at nothing to get his vengeance.

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I read the first book in this series and loved it, so I was excited to see that the second book was available. I have to say, I think this one is even better than the first.

Our lovely heroine is back again and her tough persona and great attitude once more make this a truly delightful book to read. The criminal romance is a difficult genre in my opinion, where it is often hard to find a good balance. Mia Thompson has managed this well and made it so much fun.

One thing that stands out about these novels for me is that the heroine never feels like she is contrived and pushed to be something other than what she is. Her actions and thoughts seem very natural and after a while you begin to feel like you know her personally and as a friend.

The romance is well done and steamy without being disgusting and it is not the sole source of action in the book. There are multiple story lines going on in this book that all manage to tie in to the major events by the end.

I really enjoyed reading this and encourage others to check out this series. it is worth the time to read.

This review is based on a digital ARC from the publisher and provided by Netgalley.

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Shakedown Wednesday — save a sick puppy, won’t you?

You all love puppies…

WHAT THE HELL

No, there is no sick puppy. But yes, it’s shakedown day here at What The Hell. That means I’m going to ask you to part with $2.99 and purchase your copy of Yesterday Road. Simply click on the itty bitty cover image to the left there, and you’ll be whisked to the Amazon purchase page for quick n’ easy wireless downloading. It is, by and large, painless.

Tell you what. Very briefly last week, YR was #73 on the Amazon Literary Humor list, and I know for a fact that was on the basis of a modest number of copies sold. That means that if we were to move, say, ten or twelve copies today, #63 is quite doable, maybe even #53. Wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t you like to be part of that kind of momentum? I know I would.

If you’ve already bought the book…

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Broken by CJ Lyons

BrokenBroken by C.J. Lyons

New York Times bestselling author CJ Lyons makes her YA debut with a fast-paced thriller sure to keep readers guessing to the very last page

The only thing fifteen-year-old Scarlet Killian has ever wanted is a chance at a normal life. Diagnosed with a rare and untreatable heart condition, she has never taken the school bus. Or giggled with friends during lunch. Or spied on a crush out of the corner of her eye. So when her parents offer her three days to prove she can survive high school, Scarlet knows her time is now… or never. Scarlet can feel her heart beating out of control with every slammed locker and every sideways glance in the hallway. But this high school is far from normal. And finding out the truth might just kill Scarlet before her heart does.

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I fell in love with this book before the first chapter was even complete. Really–yes, this is unusual for me to say so as I like to make my decisions when I am finished with the novel, but in this case, there was simply no doubt in my mind that what I had before me was a truly great book. Now that I have finished the book, I can definitely say that I was right. It is a great book.

Scarlet was a character that I could get close to right away for many reasons. Her internal voice was so honest right from the start that I found it easy to feel compassion for her situation. She wanted so much to be normal and to live life to the fullest that I found myself wishing the best for her and excited about each page that went by.

The thriller aspect of this book comes a bit later than I expected, but I thought the buildup of the rest of the story was perfect. I always feel when the author rushes straight into the dramatic aspects of a novel before I have the chance to get to know the main character that the book ends up lacking a crucial connection. I was already invested in the characters of this book before the major angles began, so I cared what happened to them.

I have shied away from novels that had teenaged main characters for the most part since I got bored with the repeat story lines. This one, I am very happy to say is different. More so than the usual high-school drama of boy and girl meet…fight…make up, this book has a main character with genuine concerns and a real problem.

This book has some romance, danger and excitement in it as well as being compelling, well-paced and interesting. If you enjoy books where you are never sure exactly what is going to happen next and the characters seem realistic and like someone you could reach out and touch, this is a great book to choose.

This review is based on a digital ARC from Netgalley and the Publisher–Sourcebooks Fire.

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This ebook is still on special Through November 5th:

Grave Images by Jenny Goebel

Grave ImagesGrave Images by Jenny Goebel

A stylish debut mystery with the perfect balance of sweetness and scares!

Thirteen-year-old Bernie’s summer is looking pretty grim. It’s hard to make friends when your family runs a monument company, and your backyard is littered with tombstones. It’s even harder when your mother suddenly refuses to leave her room . . .

To make matters worse, her father has just hired a new artist to engrave the headstones–the creepy Mr. Stein. Bernie has a bad feeling about him right from the start, and after snooping around his cottage, she discovers an engraved portrait of their neighbor . . . a woman who promptly dies the next day. And it’s not just a weird coincidence. The pattern continues, and Bernie realizes that Mr. Stein has begun engraving headstones before people die, which forces Bernie to ask a horrifying question: Is Mr. Stein predicting the deaths . . . or causing them?

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Lately I have been on a string of middle grade novels that left a lot to be desired. This one–total joy. I loved Bernie. She is the kind of character that will make your child feel like they have a new friend. Her attitude is often funny and the thoughts she has about the boy who likes her are hilarious.

I think the thing I enjoyed the most about this book, was that it was different. You don’t see too many stories out there where the main characters are in the headstone and monument business. This was a perfect backdrop to build an interesting and original story that you older children will surely love.

The story of why her mother was acting as she did was touching but not overly graphic or soppy to the point that it was tear producing. I liked the dynamic between the good hero and the bad bad guy. Bernie is pretty stealthy and smart and Mr. Stein was creepy!

I also really liked that there was a balance of terror and humour, realistic events and child-like feautures to this book.

This was a fun read that I imagine middle-grade students and parents alike will both enjoy. I would definitely recommend it. You don’t have to be a child to have fun with it.

This review is based on a digital ARC from Netgalley and the publisher.

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Hello Pek-In Kennels by Gary R. Gresch

* pssst…hey you guys…this book was written by Gina’s dad. GG! This is a great book!

Hello, Pek-In Kennels by Gary R. Gresch

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a wonderfully sentimental first-person narrative of a family’s personal experiences owning and operating a canine kennel.

There isn’t anything negative to say about this book. It is at once warm and funny, delightful and enjoyable. The various stories and recollections of past experiences will warm the hearts of any animal lover or anyone who has worked in a pet related industry. The big hearts and compassion of this family is clear in their history of taking in needy animals and transforming them into good pets.

I enjoyed the stories of their interactions with customers, the crazy antics of the animals and the tales of their children as they grew up alongside this business. The author’s voice is funny and pleasant to read and kept me laughing throughout.

There are also some emotional moments in this book, with the loss of trusted companions and friends, but it was never displayed to the reader in a depressing and sad way.

When you read this book, you feel like you are talking with an old friend and reminiscing with them about shared experiences, rather than reading an account of someone else’s life. I hope to see another book at some point. This would be a great gift for any animal care professional.

At the end of the book, there is a section called “Famous sayings,” and this ended up being so much fun I had to read it to other people around me, who in turn, nodded their heads in agreement and giggled as well.

I loved this book. You should take a minute to check it out, it is worth the time to read.

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The melody of Secrets by Jeffrey Stepakoff

The Melody of SecretsThe Melody of Secrets by Jeffrey Stepakoff

Jeffrey Stepakoff’s The Melody of Secrets is an epic love story set against the 1960s U.S. space program, when deeply-buried secrets could threaten not just a marriage, but a country.

Maria was barely eighteen as WWII was coming to its explosive end. A brilliant violinist, she tried to comfort herself with the Sibelius Concerto as American bombs rained down. James Cooper wasn’t much older. A roguish fighter pilot stationed in London, he was shot down during a daring night raid and sought shelter in Maria’s cottage. Fifteen years later, in Huntsville, Alabama, Maria is married to a German rocket scientist who works for the burgeoning U.S. space program. Her life in the South is at peace, purposefully distanced from her past. Everything is as it should be—until James Cooper walks back into it.

Pulled from the desert airfield where he was testing planes no sane Air Force pilot would touch, and drinking a bit too much, Cooper is offered the chance to work for the government, and move himself to the front of the line for the astronaut program. He soon realizes that his job is to report not only on the rocket engines but also on the scientists developing them. Then Cooper learns secrets that could shatter Maria’s world…

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a really enjoyable book set in a time period that is not too often chosen for recent novels. In the realm of stories about forbidden love, this was one of the better ones that I have read. I liked that it didn’t follow the typical formula and that there were a lot of other things going on in this novel besides the romance angle.

There are quite a few interesting themes in this book, including racism, government, the space program, war and tough decisions the characters face. I was impressed by the beautiful, descriptive writing and many times when I stopped to examine and appreciate a quote.

There is a lot of swapping back and forth between the past and the present, and although I thought it was handled well and I didn’t find it confusing at all, if this bothers you in a novel then you may want to take note that it does happen. Most of the relationship between James and Maria is described through these flashbacks, and I thought it was an interesting approach to showing the strength of their bond with one another.

This is a layered and intelligent novel with a strong foundation. I was happy with the way the author ended the book–it wasn’t as dark as I would have expected for a book where the characters faced so much hardship.

I would definitely recommend this book to others.

This review is based on a digital ARC from the publisher and provided by netgalley.

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A book you should check out

Really, this book is so much fun!

 

2013 Winner — Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award — Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror

It’s Halloween, and life is grim for 23-year-old Dimitri Petrov. It’s the one-year anniversary of his parents’ deaths, he’s stuck on page one thousand of his Rasputin zombie novel, and he makes his living writing obituaries.

But things turn from bleak to terrifying when Dimitri gets a last-minute assignment to cover a séance at the reputedly haunted Aspinwall Mansion.

There, Dimitri meets Lisa, a punk-rock drummer he falls hard for. But just as he’s about to ask her out, he unwittingly unleashes malevolent forces, throwing him into a deadly mystery. When Dimitri wakes up, he is in the morgue—icy cold and haunted by a cryptic warning given by a tantalizing female spirit.

As town residents begin to turn up gruesomely murdered, Dimitri must play detective in his own story and unravel the connections among his family, the Aspinwall Mansion, the female spirit, and the secrets held in a pair of crumbling antiquarian books. If he doesn’t, it’s quite possible Lisa will be the next victim.

Find it here

 

 

*on a personal note, thanks Daniella, you were right my dear.

 

 

Guest Post: Catalysts by Charles E Yallowitz

CatalystsBig thank you to Ionia for letting me post about my debut Horror novella.  I promise to clean up after myself and lock the door when I’m done.

Synopsis

When trapped in an elevator together, Jeffrey and Darla learn that misery doesn’t always love company. With the screams of death and chaos echoing from outside, they find themselves slowly slipping into a world of fear and darkness they may never recover from. All the while, something is terrorizing the convention outside and turning the guests and celebrities into psychotic monsters.
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AVAILABLE ON AMAZON KINDLE FOR 99 CENTS!!!!!
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The inspiration for Catalysts is that I wanted to try another genre.  I’ve spent most of my life playing in the fantasy genre, so I set out to prove to myself and one annoying friend that I could step out of that comfort zone.  Supernatural horror came to mind because I use monsters in fantasy.  The difference is that I had to focus more on the mentality of the humans as they were hunted, killed, and driven to their breaking points.  Unlike fantasy adventures, every character felt like they needed to have fear in their actions and hearts.  Even those that are fighting back are doing so with the desperation to survive instead of heroic courage.  So, my main goal in this experiment was to bring across the terror of the characters.
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There is also Jeffrey and Darla who are stuck in the elevator.  While the people within the carnage are running in fear, these two are trapped within their own misery.  I went dark for them and will admit that I can to be careful about making myself depressed when writing their scenes.  The elevator scenes and the carnage scenes are aimed to contrast each other.  Jeffrey and Darla are slowly falling into their personal abyss and trying to retain their sanity.  The people on the outside are rushing around and trying to get out alive with very few moments to relax.  In fact, characters relaxing tend to be a sign that something is about to go wrong.
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Anyway, that’s the origin of this idea.  I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and hopefully everyone gets to reap the benefits of it.  If horror isn’t your thing then you can read an exciting fantasy adventure in LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE, each for 99 cents.
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Hopefully this meets with Ionia’s approval.  Don’t want her to get mad and throw me clear across a clearing.  (I made that writing mistake and I have to live with it, so I might as well own it.)

Dodged by Jason Humm is Free today

Amazon Link

 

 

This poetry book is free today for everyone to download from Amazon.com. Please see the previous post for more information on this book. If you or someone you know has struggled with depression or suicidal thoughts or actions, or even if you haven’t please spread the word about this book. Talking about it and getting it out there is good as half the proceeds from this book will go to suicide prevention efforts. Please take a moment to check it out and tweet the link. Thank you guys!