Bradley: I would like to thank Ionia for letting me intrude upon her great blog-
Green Embers: Who the hell are you?
Bradley: I am…. You…
Green Embers: Well I have never heard of you.
Bradley: As I was saying, thank you Ionia-
Green Embers: Why are we here?
Bradley: If I recall, you weren’t invited.
Green Embers: Hey buddy where you go I go.
Bradley: Well anyway, Ionia has graciously let us come on her blog-
Green Embers: Hey now, where is the Dr. Pepper? All you have is this diet crap.
Bradley: Remember, we have diabetes?
Green Embers: We do? I have a hankering for some Chile Cheese Fritos!
Bradley: Hush, let me get back to this.
Green Embers: Sure sure, you do what you do.
Bradley: Now as I was saying… thank you Ionia! Today I have something important to talk about-
Green Embers: Is it squirrels?
Bradley: No, it’s not squirrels!
Green Embers: Cupcakes?
Green Embers: Why are we here again? I feel out of my element here. This is a very important book blog you know, for famous authors like Charles and Kevin Brennan.
Bradley: Yes of course but we were invited.
Green Embers: Sure, mmmhmmm.
Bradley: So anyway, ignoring my alter ego for a moment, I am going to talk about something… well darn it… why am I here?
Green Embers: Is it another new blog? I think we have quite a few of those.
Bradley: No, that wasn’t it….
Green Embers: Acorns maybe? Squirrels like those.
Bradley: No, that doesn’t sound right.
Green Embers: I shoot magic missile at the darkness!
Bradley: Hey you, pay attention and help me think!
Green Embers: Oh, bad idea chap. You know how you get when you think.
Bradley: Oh bother, you are no help.
Green Embers: Well you are lout.
Bradley: Oh yeah?! Well you are an obnoxious twat!
Green Embers: You don’t even know what that means.
Bradley: Well you are an imagination figment!
Green Embers: Hey now… that hurts.
Ionia: Boys behave.
Boys: Yes dear.
Ionia: Mayhap it be related to this, no?
Green Embers: Is that his silly book?
Bradley: Oh yeah, that’s right. I remember now, I self published a book on Amazon. Thank you Ionia, I could kiss you.
Green Embers: None of that now… (she is mine).
Bradley: *Blushes* Anyway I wrote a novella. It’s kind of silly. It has a lich and fantasy heroes and a goblin, oh and it even has a dragon.
Green Embers: Sounds boring, is that ice cream?
Bradley: Oh and I threw in some other short stories to make it a more appealing package.
Green Embers: I have an appealing package.
Bradley: Right so yeah, that’s my book!
Ionia: Bradley! Why is this you don’t want friends to review your book? That is kind of what I do on this blog, no?
Bradley: Oh that. Short answer is I am weird.
Green Embers: You’ve got that right!
Bradley: Anyway as much as I need reviews, I don’t want friends to feel that they have to give me a high rating if they feel it is crap. If someone wants to give me criticism/feedback but not in a public manner, please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I can’t stop people from leaving ratings so if some one really wants to they can of course.
Green Embers: You need as much as you can get, honestly this novella is a bit crap.
Bradley: Yes, well, I never claimed it was good.
Green Embers: Well then why would anyone want to buy this thing?
Bradley: Erm… you know I can think of other books that people should buy. Hey did you know you can get Charles’ book Beginning of Hero? Or Susan’s Red Clay and Roses? Or even this brand new to the market book that is at the top of my list called Poe!
Green Embers: Oh, those sound good. Yeah people should buy those.
Bradley: If you plan on reading three books this year, read those. If you plan on reading four , well give A Lich’s Tale and Other Stories a shot.
Ionia: Bradley, I should punch you.
Green Embers: Do it, do it! Wait… I’m him. MOMMY!
Bradley: Thanks again, Ionia for letting me and my alter ego give a little spiel of why they shouldn’t buy my book. 🙂
Bradley: Gotta go guys, have a great day!
Green Embers: Mint chocolate chip ice creaaaaaam!