The Least Famous Reindeer of all






You know flasher and Pantser and Glancer and Texan,
stompit and Stupid and Gonner and Twitzen
But I doubt you recall the least famous reindeer of all:

There once was a flying sleigh famous the world around
for delivering gifts to boys and girls with glee and happy sounds
This notorious sleigh led by a jolly fat guy
was led by reindeer–fuel prices were why

Until one night when things went terribly awry,
and the sleigh got stuck on a mountain so high…

The reindeer were frightened and didn’t know what to do
this had never happened in all the times that they flew

Santa surveyed and tried to dig out, those silly reindeer
oh how they did pout.

There was nothing for it, the sleigh was stuck fast
And the air kept getting colder as that evening passed.

The days grew long and the candy supply grew lean
the reindeer were all starving and Santa grew mean

“Get up you lazy beasts and dig out this sleigh.
I want to get home by the end of the day.
There are cookies and cocoa and logs on the fire
Somewhere in the North my wife waits with desire.”

The deer were to weak to follow his command
some of them seemed to be growing quite mad…

Stupid and Gonner were the first to go down
no food and cold weather had knocked them around

Then one of the reindeer stepped forth with a plan
he looked at the others and then at fat man
“You know,” he mused as he looked at the others
“We took an oath as a band of brothers.”

“Starving are we with no oats, carrots and grain
but there is a bowl full of jelly we can reach without pain.”

The other deer considered, the next move they would make
all together they could overtake…

Santa’s eyes got wide and he swore so crass…
and then the reindeer took a bite from his….

And this is the story of how Donner was named
that Donner Party and the Mountain of Fame…..

Published by: Ionia Froment

Blogger, reviewer, theology/philosophy major. I'm a mother and a writer and a supporter of free speech and freedom in general. My favourite author is Albert Camus, and I listen to a bit of everything. I've been too busy (LAZY) to blog in the last few years, but I'm giving it another shot.

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34 thoughts on “The Least Famous Reindeer of all”

  1. I was going to say children’s story until I got to the ‘desire’ part. Wrinkled immortal sex . . . So, how does Santa taste? Like candy or chimney soot? I have to ask because I’m assuming he’s not kosher.


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