You know you’re an author when…(HBC)

You stand in line at Barnes & Noble to meet an author you have never even read a book by just to mention “I’m an author too.”

 

You check only blogs that mention someone selling books, hoping for a tidbit of information on how they are doing it.

 

You have had at least one serious relationship with a character from your books.

 

Your mind goes on auto pilot at all meetings and you begin seeing your characters as the other people in the room. Fizzle! Get down from there, this is the school board for goodness sake!

 

You identify with Poe for more than just his history of drinking.

 

You identify with Poe because of his history of drinking.

 

You feel guilty when you are on Facebook unless it directly relates to writing or promotion.

 

You don’t begrudge the other authors who are ahead of you on the lists any happiness, you just wish they would all go back to what they are really supposed to do–being fry cooks at a hamburger stand and let your book have the recognition it deserves. Order UP!

You close at least one eye and hold your breath when you see there is a new review of your work but can’t see the star rating yet.

You look for any excuse to get away from large family gatherings when the discussion on work begins. “Sure, Aunt Bea. I’d love to walk that adorable, (lousy) sweet, (insane) well mannered, (yapping, nipping) Little dog (rat.)”

 

Your significant other hears you mumbling at night in clipped bits and pieces of phrases including “Damn you (insert author)” or “just one more para—snooooore.”

You can’t watch the telly without picking it apart or imagining your characters in the place of the actors.

You have sat down and plotted the entire cast of your movie at least once. Or twice..or more.

 

You are constantly looking at electronics and thinking you should have a back up.

 

 

You can get upset with family for interrupting your thought process when you have done nothing but stare blankly at the ceiling fan spinning for hours.

You read this post because you have a literary blog or you are Charles, who is coincidentally, a writer.